Trust

While I was preparing my teaching on Ruth last night, I was thinking more and more about the trust issue. (More detail here.) I realised my problem is not trusting God to give me what I want. And it seemed that it has come to this point again. I had this struggle like ten thousand times before, every time God wants to to relinquish something into His hands. Sometimes over the same issue. I just hated losing control and God wants that.

And I discover that just like forgiveness, trust is also a matter of constant practice. You can trust someone for a day. Then grab the reins back on the next.

And then there's the problem in what God gives you is very different from what you want. For Naomi, for instance, I think for her, she want her sons back. Yeah, now she got these "grandchildren" from Ruth. So what? (She is not EVEN related to her.) Naomi has not said a word on this.

How does she feel? When she looked at her "grandchildren", was she reminded of her sons? Is this one of the loud silences used? If only these are my true grand children? If only my son had not die? If only? Why? When we read the Bible as a kid, we would imagine a happy-ever-after ending, was it really like that?

Of course, we know. We have the benefit of hindsight. If her sons had not die, Ruth would not have married Boaz, and David would not have been born. The fate of two seemingly inconsequential widows was tightly interwined with history. They never would have known that during their lifetime.

I let go again.

I imagine I have to struggle all over with this later on again. That's me. God, thank you for your reminder.