I was woken up by my mother at 7am while I was having this dream.
It's the usual kind of dream everyone has some time in their life. I dreamt about being chased.
I woke up feeling drowsy but with a sense of hatred. It's Psychology 101. Even I know how to interpret this. The fact is I hate the people who were chasing me. Up till this morning I have never realised how strongly I hate them.
I deceived myself into thinking it's just dislike. When people do certain things to you, it's normal to dislike them, right? Yeah!
I started to question my feelings on this matter while I was reading the Secrets of Vineyard last week. (See my previous entry) I didn't give the matter any more thoughts until I woke up today with the realisation that I HATE these people.
I know I need to resolve this feeling of mine. Again, what Diana Gabaldon (my No. 1 favourite writer, in case you don't know) wrote in Drums in Autumn on the matter of forgiveness came up in my mind. (She's a devout Catholic.)
"How to tell her in words, then, what he had learn himself by pain and grace? That only by forgiveness could she forget -- and that forgiveness was not a single act, but a matter of constant practice."
I'm gonna start practising it- today. Then, and only then I can move on spiritually.
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