Growth

From time to time I feel that I am growing only to see that I still have a long way to go. They become visible to me on the Mirror of God's truth, of His Pure Love where everything I thought was straight appears crooked. - Catherine of Genoa

I didn't even realise it until yesterday.

I had lunch with a friend from the fellowship and we talked about my recent work at church. And as I talked, I became really angry as I recounted all the people who hadn't done their job properly. They would never have done this if it were their boss telling them to do that, I hated it because they did not put even one-tenth of the effort they put into their job, (not even one-hundredth) simply because it was just church stuff.

My friend told me maybe they are too busy, and maybe I require too much from them. I denied. I have become much more tolerant in recent years. (This is not just what I think, someone actually told me this, in case you don't believe in me. =P) When I told them to do the job in one week's time, I just hoped that they'd get it done after two weeks, and got mad only after 3 weeks with the job still unfinished. I don't think that's a high standard, is it?

As I have mentioned before, I think God trains people to love by putting "unlovables" near them. On my way home yesterday, I realised I am angry almost every day. At home. At work. (I really didn't understand why the worst assistant of all have been working in my room for almost every day.) At church. (All these people who worked really well with me before was not working with me recently.)

It was then I realised God deliberately put all these people around me to irritate me.

Okay. Deep breaths...

When you think you have grown a lot, there's still a long way to go.

May this be our prayer, "I do not want to turn my eyes from you, O God. There I want them to stay and not move no matter what happens to me, within or without." - Catherine of Genoa